I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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