I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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