sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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