i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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