He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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