I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize