I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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