that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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