CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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