Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize