My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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