the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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