I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize