i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
