What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize