my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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