You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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