it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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