Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize