i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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