i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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