come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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