well I can't set my house on fire every night
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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