I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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