I hate your face
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize