I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize