My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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