i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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