dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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