Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize