i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize