I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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