My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize