Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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