I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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