Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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