Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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