fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize