I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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