I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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