Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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