Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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