He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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