A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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