She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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