sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize