Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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