Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
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For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
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Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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