Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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