i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
well you can't waste a boner
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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